Tantric Sex

East meets West

--- In the modern West, we stress the power of knowledge and thought. What you know determines what you can do. If you work hard, you can accumulate wealth, a partner and family, and material success.

You reap security, physical comforts, moments of happiness, and a high standard of living.

In the traditional East, the quality of inner life - not the process of living - was more important. Not what you did outside, but what you felt inside.

* Inner stillness free from raging mind chatter.

* Inner peace free from the ravages of pursuing success and fearing failure.

* Inner harmony through self-love free from relationship ups and downs.

You reap Supreme Bliss by experiencing joy in every breath, every tree, every flower, every moment.

Yes, you can have both. Tantra is the bridge between the East and West. The path to inner joy through full awareness of the physical world.

10 Keys of Tantra

10 central elements of Tantra are...

1. Spiritual Path

2. Consciousness

3. Self-Love

4. Heart-Centered

5. Say Yes

6. Pleasure Rules

7. Practice Not Preaching

8. Subtle Energy

9. Honor Each Sex Equally

10. Inhabit Body, Not Your Mind

1. SPIRITUAL PATH

First and foremost, Tantra is a spiritual path. It grew out of the quest for ultimate personal growth thousands of years ago. In the East, they call this enlightenment, realizing one's true nature as a spiritual being separate from the physical world. Tantra believes ecstasy is our native state, and if we reclaim our radiant inner beingness we'll feel continuous joy and bliss. Part of this understanding is that everything and everyone - you, us, them - is a divine creation. We believe not only is your spirit sacred, but your mind, body, and emotions are all unified parts of the same divine gift. That's partly why you'll see Tantrikas (students of Tantra) give the traditional Eastern bow with palms together over the heart. This "namasté" literally means "the divine essence within me honors the divine essence within you." 

2. CONSCIOUSNESS

Personal spiritual growth is based on increasing consciousness. Consciousness simply means awareness, alertness, and presence. How awake and aware are you of what's occurring at each moment? To find out, simply pay attention to things like... * Do you notice those cars behind you wanting to pass? * Are you aware that you get defensive when your partner gives you that special look? * Do you realize you're spending more and more time on things that aren't don't really matter to you? Tantrikas raise consciousness by answering these kinds of questions simply through witnessing what goes on inside and out. They concentrate their attention on the present moment in order to harness the power of "now." That's the primary reason Tantra teaches us to drop our goals, expectations, and agendas which shift our attention from the now to the future. Traditionally, silent sitting meditation was the preferred tool to raise consciousness, but in Tantra we favor waking, active, dynamic awareness with complete openness to every moment. 

3. SELF-LOVE

What we learn from introspection is ultimately more difficult to deal with than watching the outside world go by. When we see something we don't like about ourselves, we're faced with a momentous crossroads: do we put our heads in the sand and deny what we see, or do we accept ourselves fully and grow from there? Tantrikas choose the later, accepting all parts of themselves, what some might call the good, the bad, and the ugly. But we don't see it that way because the natural consequence of acceptance is self-love. If we're created in the image of God/Goddess then we must be perfect in those divines eyes. Believing that we're completely all right produces some amazing shifts such as greater openness with others and willingness to receive pleasure. We drop our self-judgments about unworthiness and begin to feel deserving of all the gifts life offers. We adopt the bedrock belief that nothing is more important than that we feel good.

4. Heart Centered

To bring about inner peace and harmony, the Eastern masters teach us to seek our inner core of truth centered in our heart. As we grow in consciousness and self-love, our hearts unfold and we share more of ourselves with others. We communicate more openly and authentically about what's really important. Naturally, our desire and capacity to love increases. Though the foundations of Tantra begin with solo practice, many join this path as a couple to enhance their love. With consciousness and self-acceptance, we discover what a strong teacher relationships are. We develop compassion, gratitude, and giving thanks. We tend to see the cup half-full instead of half-empty and focus on the redeeming qualities about otherwise dysfunctional situations. As a general rule, Tantrikas appreciate the gifts of the material world, others, and themselves.

5. Say Yes

Tantra says "yes" to whatever you desire, as long as you're fully awake. When we live life with the priorities of growth, consciousness, love, and relationship in our faces, we become acutely aware of all of our unmet desires and the people and events that resist them. The way of the modern world seems to embrace reacting negatively to things, and passing judgment on what's disapproved of. Society, authority figures, organized religion, health gurus are just a few of the voices drummed into our heads telling us what's wrong with us. Much of it about sex. It's impossible not to absorb much of this negativity, and with so many conflicting messages, it's a wonder we can relax and enjoy anything. In Tantra we learn that personal resistance not only wastes vital energy, but fighting reality brings us down. Instead, we learn to let things be and make saying "yes" a habit, finding that this makes us feel good. We give up the illusion that we can control everything in life. By surrendering to "what is," we drop our judgments of good and bad, right and wrong. In place of inner conflict, we start accepting whatever we see and whatever happens to us. Personal power comes from knowing who you really are: an eternal being whose essence is love. Tantrikas welcome the whole range of life experiences, actively seek what they want, and become much more intuitive and spontaneous. Though we don't proscribe any sexual preference as better than any other, saying "yes" to all things sensual and erotic begins a profound life transformation. If you're concerned that this kind of approach condones selfishness, exploitation, and harming others, don't be. When you follow your true desires with full consciousness, you'll never knowingly manipulate or hurt others.

That's half the answer to "What Is Tantra?" read Part II of this article for the next five keys.

Wishing you love and ecstatic Tantric sex,

Dhyan Jeffre & Somraj

Dhyan Jeffre TallTrees, Ph.D., cofounder of Supreme Bliss Tantra, is an author, speaker, workshop leader, and licensed SkyDancing Tantra Teacher with over 30 years of clinical experience in relationships and human sexuality. Jeffre is co-author of Intimacy: The Green Light for Red Hot Sex and A Lifetime Of Loving. Dhyan Somraj Pokras, cofounder of Supreme Bliss Tantra, is the author of countless articles about Tantra, over 50 workshops, and 4 books including "Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery." During his 30 year career as a speaker, counselor, personal coach, group facilitator, and workshop trainer, Somraj has guided more that 20,000 people to lead more ecstatic and effective lives.

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