The size of her labia have her concerned that she isn't "normal." Can this be true?
Like every other body part, there is an infinite amount of variation in the size and shape of sex organs.
Ask the Sexpert
Labia is larger than normal
The lips of my genitals seem really big -- they hang down way farther than anything else in that area. It's gotten to the point where I'm embarrassed to have sex with anyone, because I'm afraid they'll think I'm really weird. Is there something I can do to fix them?
Dear Reader,Many women worry about the whether their genitals are "normal," not knowing that, like fingerprints and flowers, everyone is unique. Clits can be big or little (some are bigger than a thumb), outer and inner labia lips can be long or short, and the skin can be wrinkly, ripply, smooth, or hairy -- and tinted with hues from light pink to plum.
But how many women get a chance to look at their own genitals up close, let alone those of other women? Unlike men, who've had a lifetime of shaking their whangers at each other in locker and rest rooms, women are provided little opportunity to see each other's equipment. And doctors are often conspirators in the process: I once asked my doctor of three years for a mirror so I could check out my cervix while she was examining me and she was absolutely horrified.
My friend Francesca, a stripper, says that when she first started dancing she, like you, was freaked out about her too-long labia. A few days strutting her stuff and she realized that the customers were absolutely fascinated by them, and she worked elaborate labia displays into her routine. And once she saw the variety of the other dancers' labia, she felt much more comfortable.
Of course, you don't have to become an erotic dancer, or even head to a strip club, for a little reassurance: There's a great book available called Femalia that consists simply of close up, color photos of women's genitals in all their glory. You can also check out the amazing video Viva la Vulva, which shows real women talking about and celebrating their genitals. Both of these products present women from a range of ethnic backgrounds.
By the way, there are more and more doctors doing cosmetic restructuring of women's genitals: tightening, trimming and tucking. So, yes, you could have that done. Let me assure you, though, that this kind of surgery might make you feel more normal, but it wouldn't make you more normal -- and the experience can be quite painful. You already are normal. These surgeries are for the large part unnecessary, and bank on women's insecurities. You're better off learning to appreciate what you already have -- trust me, your partners will.