Ask the Sexpert

Have an Orgasm without a vibrator

I love my vibrator, I mean a lot. So much so that I've never had an orgasm any other way. Is it possible that I've numbed my clitoris to other kinds of stimulation?

Dear Reader,

If you've never had an orgasm any way but with your vibrator, it's possible that rather than having numbed yourself to other kinds of stimulation, what you've actually done is found the kind of sensation that your body likes the best.

Many women have their very first orgasms with vibrators. After all, vibrators give strong, consistent vibration, and last way longer than the hands, fingers and tongues of mere mortals. So long after you -- or he -- might have given up in fatigue, your vibe will keep going and going -- just like the Energizer Bunny. So you've found a way to have consistent orgasms -- many women would love to be in your shoes.

If you want to try and orgasm another way, try varying the kind of stimulation you use while you masturbate. Start masturbating with your tried-and-true vibrator, then switch to using your hand, your partner's hand, a less-powerful vibe, or a lower setting on your regular toy as you get closer to orgasm. Mix it up a bit, alternating the different kinds of touch as you get more aroused. Initially, you might need to switch back to Old Faithful in order to get over the top, but as time goes on you should find yourself more responsive to different kinds of stimulation.

If you find that you like the way you've always masturbated best, why worry? Some people freak out when one method of sexual stimulation becomes a habit, thinking that it might indicate something's wrong. That's usually not true. Ask a guy, and you'll find that he probably has a very specific way of masturbating that he developed fairly early on in life, and which varies little from episode to episode. It's fast, it's efficient and it works -- so why change? We've got our favorite clothes, our favorite foods, and I bet you sleep in the same position every night, too. If you were doing something harmful to yourself over and over again, there might be a problem. But girl, all you're doing is having fun, and I say keep on buzzing!