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Ask the Sexpert

Spanish Fly as an Aphrodisiac

Dear Dr. Kat,

My girlfriend doesn't seem to be as stimulated as she has been in the past. I've mentioned Spanish Fly as a way to get her desire up. I'm sure her problem is a temporary thing, loads of stress in her life right now. Does Spanish Fly work and is it a good idea for temporary help in this situation?

I would have thought, in this day and age, that Spanish Fly legends had been safely overwritten by lovely little rumors about Viagra and the seduction powers of roofies. Nice to know that some myths never die.

Even if you could lay your hands on some authentic Spanish Fly, instead of some dime store potion touted as being of Spanish Fly-like proportions, by no means should you give it to anyone you care about. Spanish Fly is made from the crushed body of the blister beetle, and yes, when ingested, can make you feel warm and tingly in your special parts, as well as everywhere else on your body. Why? Because the blister beetle is highly toxic, that's why, and that warm and tingly sensation is the prelude to your insides melting down into some sort of slushy mess, or you becoming really, really sick, or something similar. If you're looking for a way to take the stress out of your girlfriend's life, this is not the method that I would recommend. (You might try finding out what she's stressed about and seeing what you can do to lighten her load a little. That's a true aphrodisiac for most women.)

While I'm leaping tall myths in a single bound, let me address another one: please guys, don't ever use that god-awful butt-numbing cream as a way to talk your lady friend into anal sex. Or to get something in your own butt either. I can't tell you how many times people ask about numbing creams, and let me take a moment to explain. Anal sex is not supposed to hurt: pain is a sign that you're doing something wrong, and you need to back off, try something new, or add some lube. You slather on butt-numbing cream and you're cutting off the one thing guaranteed to protect you from doing something you shouldn't be doing.

And the same thing goes for those 'stay hard creams'. Again, they keep your erection by numbing the nerve endings in the penis. Sure, you can keep going and going, but only because you can't feel anything below the waist. Doesn't that sound like an erotic good time? You'd be better served looking for more natural methods of prolonging ejaculation, like those found in The New Male Sexuality or The Multi-Orgasmic Man. Or, just forget about penetration and go down on her instead. She won't complain. And it will certainly do wonders for her stress level.

~ Dr. Kathleen Van Kirk